Script and Snug

"One person to another, my eyes drag Watching them intently,  Am almost a hawk Should do so mildly  Won't let them know, I'm here to gawk  To address the one duly Who's been holding me back  Fuelling my insecurities I'd find him today ask him to stop Catapulting my miseries  Give me peace, let me grow atop How do I find him, the one so vile Who wasted my years Won't stop whispering in my ears I'll revisit again with more enthusiasm Ask him to sit, let's discuss our chasm I lay on the couch eyes adrift The whispers restart, he runs away swift The door is locked, windows shut No one came inside, who whispered but?"

 " A painful squeeze in the chest Stomach recoiling at its fullest Hands quivering in protest  Me searching you in earnest And since the moment our eyes met My serene self is in unrest"

 "What is this feeling bittersweet I believe they call it love amiss Having different forms albeit At first sight, or sometimes taking years to concrete What is that emotion that I felt That made my heart completely melt It wasn't the sight, but his talking that had led My body drowning in an emotional flood, I dread What is this stir that overcame me As he assembled his essentials, leaving me be Dusk swept in, and he continued his journey Leaving me pensive, deep in melancholy Dawn set in, and the world resumed its cacophony My heart clings to the hope, to regain its joyous company The emotions that I am feeling, can't name any It's a cascade of thoughts, a bittersweet symphony"

 "Here starts the countdown One two and three The night before the showdown Active in full swing Nerves await a breakdown Hereby I stand unflinching Know my reality deep down But isn't hope always, the thing?"

 "Flashback to the good times, my brain tread How good was the time once spent Snapping back to the present, I dread Shouldn't it be equally easier for me as well to forget"

  "The night has come to collect its due Intense pain, leaving me achingly blue This charade of smiles is all untrue Isn't my life the perfect 'pretend' Look from the surface, aren't their roses so red Come closer, do you find thorns that made me bled The scars that left my skin green Are hard to find, they're covered with a vibrant sheen Disguising it like a flawless damaskeen Acting all strong with all my might I see a cemetery and people dressed in white And again pretend things aren't as bad as I seem to find"

  "Sometime in the afternoon, I started to read Pages through pages, my eyes tread She lived a life, everyone would dread Never bent her spine, I commend Holding my breath, I wanted her pain to end Watching her struggle Her hope getting crumpled, People misusing her, left-right, and center I saw self-loathing become her epicenter,  Half past the book, I saw no respite To the constant strife She's faced in her life Still holding the hope intact I waited for things to rightly act,  Closed the book to start reading afresh Wasn't ready for what happened next Her pain ended when she took the final breath She's still dead, I rechecked time hundredth I sat there in awe, what have I witnessed Sometime later, the sun came up And reality set in Had she not died, I wouldn't be sitting to write For ending her struggles and strife That life has more to offer, than a butcher's knife However, some souls do need to die For authors to make characters immortalize" 

 "To whomsoever it may concern Very politely, I want you to discern Don't make my business any of your concern This is how much I talk what else do you expect I am in no mood to form a soul shattering connect The list of those has now reached soul-shattering fullest This is the way I actually function Either everything or nothin' There isn't anything in between The number of people I care for are exactly six In this behemoth matrix Anyone else is just a nix So if you're waiting for your opinion to matter Apologies for making your illusions shatter They're as useful as a torn tatter You think your judgments give me a kick Grab a chair, coke and a mix Let's see how long it takes to cause an ick"

  "If you could actually see this side of my skin Swathe of emotions that it keeps hidden Forces a frown into a smile brittle The concept of underthinking it knows little If you could actually see this side of my skin How harsh to herself, it has always been Emotions so deep carries within Completely, fervently is how she knows feelin' If you could actually see this side of my skin Now turned into an obscure victim Reasons being, my own set of actions done consciously When felt everything so strongly I've been a culprit in this very journey Of hyperbolic emotions and misery I do hereby declare wobbly That it's me to whom I owe the biggest apology"

 "What is this 'how are you' drivel Of course I'm fine, don't ask questions trivial Why fuss over small talk, dear Don't pretend that you care Ask me my music dossier The answer to them is easier Reason behind those favourites Is one I ain't willing to share This isn't being secretive Just a dislike of charade deceptive Acting all protective In reality you couldn't care lesser Chats are comfortable in territories merrier Let's discuss fun, fashion and fav calzone No baby my fears are a no go zone Late night conversations about life Reason behind this ache in the heart so ripe We'll talk about this too The day you'll call out my bluff of- "I am fine, you?"

 " I wish I could go back in time That picturesque morning when the clock chimed nine Your charming self ripe and sublime Your intent no clandestine  That illusion of roses so diving Clouding the reality of you being a slime Full of filth to the prime I wish I could go back in time Have a chat with her at lunchtime And warn about your non-existent spine How your 'mine' is sold to other 'nine' This is all false dopamine High because of your served moonshine That ruined irreparably her shine I wish I could go back in time And stop her from getting maim Decrease her pile of regrets in this lifetime I wish I could go back in time And end that conversation with a courtesy smile"

 " It's once again the night When nothing feels right When you hold onto your breath, a little too tight Waiting for this gloom to end tonight When you don't understand the reason behind your sadness When you're surrounded by nothing but darkness When senses renegade into numbness When the black hole of agony drowns you in its profoundness When tears overflow without any reason Even to smile, there's an aversion When anguish and uncertainties have formed a union And you wait for this night to cease its propulsion"

 " I've been to heaven on earth Witnessed worse than hell in that heaven Devils masqueraded as angels Poison cloaked in their sugary words Their dichotomous words and actions ever evident Me searching for good in them still consistent The malaise called weakness led to an aching heart Pain became my lone sweetheart Senses became veritably numb So much so, it felt I would succumb Fitting in became a chore My heart refused to cooperate anymore Brain tried reasoning Tong won't stop whining Eyes continued raining The so called hope kept depleting Few more months is my reasoning, Really? says my heart mumbling"

 " Happiness feels a bit hazy Smiling is nothing but a formality Even whispers now feel noisy Days pass full of agony Running away looks like the only solace From the demons, my mind weaves in its embrace My body consists less of flesh and bones and more of indifference Tasks of once high stature now hold little significance Looks like I'm left with no choice Not that anyone would be affected by my premature demise However, one question makes my actions cease Is there anything called committing suicide with some grace?"

  Chirping birds waking her up Getting ready to decompress Traffic noises riling her up Going to a place full of strangers Rooms incarcerating her up Inability to solve complex puzzles Making her feel like throwing up 5 minutes breaks spanning for hours Doing nothing to ease her up Rather add to her accelerating stress Meeting mentors for follow up This ordeal named life making nauseous  Undone tasks keep piling up Returning back after dismissal regardless Doing nothing but whining up Going back to sleep full of distress Wishing like hell to never wake up So as to escape from this circle vicious 

  The father worked day and night Obliterating sleep might Every second of the hour Every hour of the day No breaks for weeks This happened for months Months went by Years came by Cent to a dollar a nd a hundred more Hundred to a million n ow the bones are sore Stress accompanied cash Healthcare took a backlash  Blood pressure refused to come down Still, his resolve never bowed down Because father had a purpose Laughter filled his ears during the recourse A toothy grin and a cheeky smile  Welcomed him every evening like an eager missile That's when he knew the mission is accomplished The soreness blew as if it never furnished  The clock ticked on the wall He was happiest of all With two 2 feet devils He worshiped both the evils Their joy was what which kept him going He would sell his soul, if that's what it cost, to keep it flowing

 " It all commenced with a cry Cord cut, flowers distributed, my arrival was celebrated with a rye, I was over showered with the love of my parents and relatives Spoiled with everything and anything without questioning my motives, Now an adolescent I turned out wild Fierce, untamed, undomesticated I was everything but cultivated Playing, fighting, partying in excess Me and studies never formed a nexus  I pursued this life, with a fervent appetite Little did I know, this is just a respite, I spent all the days of my youth on pleasure Now they cam down, haunting me later Was desperate to re form the once unformed nexus  With dreams so high But work done nye, My once carefree adolescent self Learned how to hussle thy self, My employers were anything but kind Therefore took a stand behind,  I worked, worked and worked But couldn't compensate for those lost years, Yet the work did paid off Not to the extent I wished off, Got a decent living Life was monotonous with a 9-5 working Th